Angry sex may sound exciting, but it’s not always good for your sex drive. We tell you the connection between anger and sex drive.

Angry sex can be fiery, exciting and also an ultimate tension release. It is used by some people as a physical way to resolve frustration or tension with their partners. It may help couples to resolve relationship conflicts and reconnect with each other after a disagreement or fight. Sometimes, angry sex is used as a way to escape from work pressure or negative feelings. It may not be healthy always, and anger can affect sex drive too. Read on to know the connection between anger and sex drive.

How does anger affect sex drive in women?

Anger generally arises out of conflicts, arguments, or frustration. In such a scenario, there is no compassion or feeling of love, but a kind of anxiety, resentment or anger, says psychiatrist and sexologist Dr Sanjay Kumawat. While these emotions are natural, they can divert a person’s attention and cause them to be less interested in sex. It can cause a decrease in libido in women. According to a 1995 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, anger and anxiety significantly reduced sexual desire in women.

Anger may be bad for libido. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock

Why do some couples engage in angry sex?

While some people try to find ways to communicate with their partner when angry, others engage in anger-based sexual acts. Anger may get toned down by releasing happy hormones during sexual acts. Sex can also act as a transference reaction in which the aggression of anger is translated into violent sexual activity. In cases where the conflict is just resolved or anger is diluted after a sexual act, it can play a vital role in strengthening the relationship between the couple.

Also read: 8 tips to communicate with your partner when you’re angry or upset

What are the pros and cons of angry sex?

The healthy part of the act is that it can help a couple to cool down and reduce their anger levels. However, this can be detrimental in a relationship if it happens constantly and leads to toxic relations, says the expert. In some cases, angry sex can occur without consent which can negatively impact a couple.

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Some side effects of angry sex include:

  • It can increase the bodily physiological parameters, including pulse and blood pressure, and may sometimes induce headaches.
  • The act, if committed forcefully, can severely harm a relationship.
  • It may sometimes cross the boundaries of understanding of sexual activity, which can cause a lot of physical and mental problems.
  • If angry sex is used as a medium to resolve conflict, the main issues may remain unsolved.
  • It may affect a woman’s sex drive adversely.
Angry sex
Consent is important during angry sex. Image courtesy: Freepik

On the positive front, it can have the following advantages:

  • It may improve the bond between the couple, as it prevents the arguments from further escalating into ugly fights.
  • It also improves compassion and bonding if no force is used, and consent is given importance.
  • Helps couples solve physical problems they may experience in bed.

How is angry sex different from regular sex?

In regular sex, foreplay plays a very important role. However, with angry sex, the foreplay is replaced by talk or arguments that are heated and not a pep talk or love talk. The act may begin suddenly or a bit forcefully, although the issue of argument is majorly resolved at a later stage, notes Dr Kumawat.

Angry sex is also different from make-up sex. While angry sex is usually done when a couple is angry, lovers go for make-up sex after the disagreement is resolved.

So, angry sex can be fun and the perfect way to release tension, but it can also lead to communication barriers. Just remember that it will not make the core problem go away, no matter how good it feels!



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